A Podcast for Heroes and Bravehearts

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Episode 95 – Ramjack and the Crisis of the Shadow-Man Mirror-People
| 24. April, 2012

Hey remember Easter? We do. Barry-san be praised! We are prepping for Vatican III i.e., No Vatican. Grab a glass of your finest aged urine and mouthful of dirt we’ve got a slew of new addicts and a couple of well placed halibuts. The coffee shops are filled with terrifying weirdos and walking cliches. We test our likelihood to become alcoholics. We’re eating bugs, all of us… and no amount of alcohol or showering can change it.

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We will never force you to eat a sandwich you hate.

Listen to Episode 95 – 2:03:14

Episode 93 – Homage to a Swindler: The Autobiography of Ramjack
| 21. March, 2012

Oh snap! It’s a super special episode for you and other humans! People are sharing shitty secrets and we do not know why. Things get incredibly heated in the Ramjack Larger Locks Literary Lounge™ as we talk about the ineptitude of George Washington and lying bitches that pretend to read books but are clearly incompetent with uselessly fragile egos. Luckily Alirio drops by to cool things down as we discuss his birthday pick “Phantom of the Paradise” and learn all about skylight voyeurism and devil contracts from our pal Birdman Winslow.

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Join us on our lying librarian witch-hunt!

Listen to Episode 93 – 2:29:51

Episode 91 – Ramjack and the Cummerbund of Sisyphus
| 5. March, 2012

In this interactive multi-dimensional episode Alex is a sleep prophet and Brad is a Realist with Realism Powers. We get sleep tips from the national sleep foundation. Suprise! It turns out TSA Agents are up to no good. The Germans are desperate to eat giant Doritos Tacos Buckets of gross… but they will never be allowed. Mad Scientists Present Coma Chickens the tastiest of non-animals. The Most Dangerous Game OR The Most Delicious Game? Paul Maki suggests the worst movie ever devised. Alex’s Birthday pick arrives in the form of gravity defying slushies in Step Up 3D.

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More fun than a plate full of deep-fried coma patients!

Listen to Episode 91 – 2:18:32

Episode 90 – Ramjack and the Torchbearer of the Moon-Men
| 1. March, 2012

We discuss the psychotic and passive aggressive skylarkings of The Ever-Great Honorable General George Washington of the Noble Continental Army Dragoon Force Five of the North Winds Etc. Etc. Etc… Mr. Belvedere takes an insanely dark turn as Jason Bateman stops by for some sexual harrassment and attempted rape. Saved by the Bell ventures into new frontiers of Science Fiction in which Lisa Turtle is turned into a middle-aged white man due to the ever shifting universe.

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Listen to Episode 90 – 1:10:52

Episode 89 – Ramjack and the Ice House of Forgotten Dreams
| 12. February, 2012

An epic shopping adventure full deceit, chicanery, and emotional turmoil is chronicled, Alex gives us the lowdown on Jennifer Lopez insanity and Prince’s wacky demands. Brad yells at an old lady in a grocery store. Claire and Werner Herzog joins us to talk about Showgirls featuring World’s Greatest Human, Elizabeth Berkley and some inexplicable lighting choices. We tackle a metric ton of Voicemail. including Lister submited situations, Secrets from the pits of Squirrel Hell, and a grip of questions.

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And learn how to be part of our grift squad!

Listen to Episode 89 – 2:59:56

Episode 88 – Ramjack and the Paper Mache Bayonets of Terror
| 3. February, 2012

Alex tries to kill Brad. He survives and declares himself arbiter of all that is right and wrong. People are using shopping carts wrong. We grab our black diamonds and tune into the far future with shocking accuracy. We delve into the second chapter of some epic inter-dimensional fanfiction. Belvedere proves Marcia is a terrible student and a worse mother and the kids on Saved by The Bell get class rings and make hugely questionable plans of action.

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It’s the black diamond of the Internet!

Listen to Episode 88 – 2:04:33

Episode 87 – Ramjack and the Credit Default Body Swap
| 24. January, 2012

We are back in action… and this time we’re serious! Learn some terrifying Animal Facts from the Tower of London, Sports Facts abound from and Brad begins his improv correspondence course. George Washington’s Mother is an insufferable bitch, Martha Washington has an intrepid spirit, but Black Jack takes the cake! Kim Jong Un has a grip of super powers but he’s slacking on his language study. Mr. Belvedere is throwing some revolutionary game and The Saved by the Bell Kids learn a valuable lesson about not being shitty liars. Also we receive super awesome Solstice Gifts!!

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Or we will call and threaten your children as Santa Claus, like crazed psychopaths

Listen to Episode 87 – 2:10:27

Episode 86 – Ramjack and the Dragon Magic Mixtape of Albion
| 21. January, 2012

If you like Claire and/or Dinosaurs this episode is intelligently designed for your ears. We jump backwards in time to celebrate the Solstice with scary clowns, Disney princesses, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. We report live from the Creation Museum with all the rad Dino’s, Second Adam, Robo-Noah, and the Yokel Roman Centurion. And Alex sends in some rad international flavor.

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We’ll pay off your sin debt if you join.

Listen to Episode 86 – 59:11

Episode 84 – Ramjack and the Prince of Mediocre Sacrifices: A Messiah Story
| 20. December, 2011

An epic Holiday episode is here to fill your digital stocking, Brad is wheelin’, dealin’ and conquering the amazon. Alex is fighting children, making connections at starbucks and dealing out harsh criticism. Jon Pernisek sends us amazing Fanfiction. Morgan Freeman makes a special appearance. We learn about the unfortunate fate of Rich Little and Dana Carvey. Belvedere turns it up to eleven and Saved by the Bell finally let’s Mario Lopez come out of the closet.
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It’s where snowmen come to life… and seek political asylum!

Listen to Episode 84 – 2:15:49

Episode 83 – Heated Disease Trough: A Ramjack Family Buffet
| 12. December, 2011


Looking to have fun in church? Try The Baby Jeezo Sexy-Time Party Pew, it’s not gonna make churchgoing more sensible but it might just get you a Grand-Slam at Denny’s. We watch the preview of TLC’s Virgin Diaries and have a full out panic attack. Meanwhile the Japanese are getting Deja-Ew from a grip of unordered pizzas. Belevedere confirms our suspension on all fronts and Zack plots to escape detention with his giant brick phone on Saved by The Bell.
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Monster free and more fun than a Denny’s.

Listen to Episode 83 – 1:37:54

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