// >> Situation Room
Influenza de la Suidae: The Scourge of Ramjack – Episode 26
Alexander Green | 30. January, 2010
Stealing a KJ for the 5&2 set, baby tat’s for Jeezo, 4&2 is the new Asian, The Folgers Coffee Company is a bastion of antiquated ideas about gender roles and societal obligations, Chiropractors in Connecticut, Nerd Ladies abound, and a bedazzled situation room for a new year. Hey Humanity, Stop Resting on your Laurels in 2010!
Ramjack and the Death of Father Time: A New Year’s Jubilee – Episode 25
Alexander Green | 18. January, 2010
Employ-of-the-month: FAIL. The science behind tiny sensitive hands is explored. Does the number four exist? Ask the 4&2’ers and prepare for an onslaught of idiocy. Surprise! Stress is not new. News Dealers are in your neighborhood and they are dealing news… to your KIDS! Drink Recipes for a new year. Build-a-bear-voodoo-Frankenstein-workshop is out to make a Horcrux from your toddler’s soul and there are people out there that want to steal those souls. BEWARE! We bring class with a Ramjack Dramatic Reading of the insanely awkward “Poetry of the Fae” The Situation Room is laden with faeries, thievery, bots, and guests.
Be careful with unparliamentarily language, lest you lose your position.
The Red Snuggie of Ramjack: A Holiday Homecomming – Episode 24
Alexander Green | 9. January, 2010
We are beyond sorry that these are arriving to you SO late. I spent a good portion of this past holiday season suffering the infamous Swine Flu, supported by bronchitis and two inner ear infections. Yikes! But… I’VE SURVIVED. Adequate excuse? You tell me. 😉
With that said… Mail an Octopus for the new year, The Final Martha Stewart promises, an Oraganic Xmas = revolting, Walmart Drive Though, The happiest place doesn’t know any better, Gray-haired tweens are disturbing the natural order of everything, Hey Internet bitches… let me have my spring roll in peace, Star Wars Holiday Special presents Wookie Porn and Maude: The Next Generation.
Episode 25 and 26 to follow soon. In the mean time, keep checking those score cards! Slip-Trip Hazards are like a thief in the night: you know not the hour!
Ramjack’s Sweater: A Tale of America – Episode 23
teamramjack | 20. December, 2009
Hey you lazy fucking faux-cripple-scooter-bitch-people stop trying to see through your brain bones, because there’s a 20 watt fountains in our brain that can’t die, thus proving the axiom time minus time equals no time…and that’s what I’ve got for you. NO TIME.
Episode 23 has more tips from martha, our plan to protect the Postal Service, Sarah Palin Kettlecorn’s the native americans, Ellen Page is constantly confounded by technology and the people that understand it better than she ever will, and the Situation room leads to more fams getting turned into dinos.
Carbon Monoxide Fury a Cautionary Tale of Ramjack – Episode 22
Alexander Green | 5. December, 2009
The Macy’s Pride/Christmas/White man oppressing Native Americans Parade, Martha Stewart bitchslap’s Sarah Palin, Carly Simon apparently didn’t die in 1929, Alex extols the virtues of “cooking” pre-cooked food out of plastic bags, we talk about some wild and wacky commercials from 1989, watch Garfield Thanksgiving & Christmas, Muppet Family Christmas, Jingle All The Way, and Return to Sleepaway Camp (to clear the palate).
And the cruel hand of fate falls harshly on Rex & Rita Readasaurus.
Turkey Chasin’ Hijinx a Ramjack Family Festival – Episode 21
Alexander Green | 22. November, 2009
Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers…it’s a lucky 21 Thanksgiving super spectacular! Martha Stewart News, Alex curls up with his Hagen-daz and bunny slippers to give us a “Gossip Girl” and “90210” update, Brad Discovers “Sell This House” and learns what love is. Thanksgiving fun facts: Suprise! Pilgrims are corn stealing bastards. Plus the Christmas Creep continues his conquest of the calendar.
High Flying Ramjack: An Adventure Story in the Air – Episode 20
Alexander Green | 15. November, 2009
Blockbuster is banking on magic to save them, sadly magic is out. Peter Cottontail has a cock on his back… a cock for science! A deranged Martha Stewart becomes our Celebrity Project Child of the month. Brad watches Inglorious Bastards and Venture Bros. And Alex watches his lady shows Gossip Girl and 90210. And who’s conning who in the 1990 Dana Carvey masterpiece Opportunity Knocks. Beware the Christmas Creep Bitches. The Podcast is free for the listening, try my product PLEASE!
Entering Madness: The Catacombs of Ramjack – Episode 19
Alexander Green | 8. November, 2009
Lion OR Lying. Willie Ames is back in charge and he’s going to zap your Roth IRA, An IMDB message board dramatic reading. Shows: Tswift on Snl, Parking Wars and more. Spacial reasoning for dummies, and a tasty haze of vicodin and muscle relaxers gently guide us into the situation room…. where nothing will ever be the same. what would you do?
Spookhouse Spectre: The Crypt of Ramjack – Episode 18
Alexander Green | 28. October, 2009
Episode 18 is here and it’s legal! Time to rock the vote. We finish our October Halloween extravaganza, receive a special poem, check in on Taylor Swift, discuss Halloween safety for you, your costumes, and your yard haunt… and who doesn’t love an old fashioned yard haunt? Â We watch Garfield’s Halloween adventure, run into a Situation Room of Horrors & take a scary “ride on the internet” …as opposed to the cyber-web-net-space. Don’t forget to check your scorecard and your base system. Candy, Candy, Candy!
Jack O’ Lantern Rampage: The Laughter of Ramjack – Episode 17
Alexander Green | 17. October, 2009
It’s Spooktacular! Taylor Swift: Globe Trotter, Freemdom Stars: make your own! Spiders want to destroy our economy, Hey Kristen Stewart take a bath and shut the fuck up, Â Rush Limbaugh shutdown, Old people call phone sex line: Viva Viagra indeed, Oregon Trail becomes reality, a reality Karen Armstrong has no grasp of. We deal with our deep childhood fear of aliens and watch Ernest Scared Stupid now with 175% more trolls than your average Troll Movie.