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Please note: this story is written in the style of Internet fan fiction and should not reflect on it’s author(s) credibility, intelligence, and/or understanding of the English language, syntax, and basic tenants of human communication.

Force Captain Gomez was a powerful leader women wanted to be with him and men wanted to be him. He wore his uniform sweater with an august congeniality that bellied his brilliant tactical skill and ruthless cunning. The fact that he had been kidnapped by such a cruel and vile being as The Great Magnate of Evil was a sullied stain on the sportscoat of superior righteousness. Luckily the past few months had taught Brad and the alliance members many things about circumventing The Great Magnate of Evil’s security.

“Clearly we can detect a build up of non-specified generic ‘energy’… in fact I’m reading a class five!” Larghhj noted.

“If only we could communicate with Force-Captain Gomez.” grieved Sharnu

“Alex, why don’t you use your fax machine?” Brad inquired

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