Please note: this story is written in the style of Internet fan fiction and should not reflect on it’s author(s) credibility, intelligence, and/or understanding of the English language, syntax, and basic tenants of human communication.
Force Captain Gomez was a powerful leader women wanted to be with him and men wanted to be him. He wore his uniform sweater with an august congeniality that bellied his brilliant tactical skill and ruthless cunning. The fact that he had been kidnapped by such a cruel and vile being as The Great Magnate of Evil was a sullied stain on the sportscoat of superior righteousness. Luckily the past few months had taught Brad and the alliance members many things about circumventing The Great Magnate of Evil’s security.
“Clearly we can detect a build up of non-specified generic ‘energy’… in fact I’m reading a class five!” Larghhj noted.
“If only we could communicate with Force-Captain Gomez.” grieved Sharnu
“Alex, why don’t you use your fax machine?” Brad inquired
“I don’t know dude I’m not sure If I can get through that non-specified energy barrier with my 14k fax modem.”
It was clear to all that eventually Alex might possibly, one day become a great warrior, or at least the tall nebbish accountant to a great warrior. But for now his insecurities, awkwardness, and internalized constant fear of his surrounds often plagued his decisions like so many maggots on a rotting coyote slowly decaying in the early morning hours of a sweet summer day.
“You can try maybe we can at least get an idea of how far we are” Vmaelru suggested.
As Alex attempted use the fax machine the antiquated dialing and pinging of the modem played a generic calliope of clashing pitches. The sound was grating to those whom recognized it, but for those of this universe it was a shocking and exciting sound.
“From the signal I’m getting he can’t be too far away. Probably only 14and a half to 17 geometers away.” Larghhj noted excitedly.
“But there’s no way to get through all of that non-specified energy, it would take us weeks if we still had the help of those vegogoblins to tunnel” Alex lamented.
“There is still one way.” Brad said pulling the morphing crystals from his bag.
“You are so incredibly wise and brave, I don’t know how I… how we would get by without you” said Sharnu. Though she clearly had sinful passions in mind he restrained himself displaying his strong sense of morality and humility like a peacock. This only further fed the inextinguishable fire in her loins. Beyond being a critically acclaimed internationally award winning playwright Brad was also surprisingly humble. This is a feature that would serve him well as the morphing crystals would not work unless it’s bearer was pure of heart.
“Are you sure, don’t forget what Elyjouw the Seer told you.” Alex warned.
“I don’t have time for fear. The Great Magnate of Evil has Force-Captain Gomez and I am the only one capable of harnessing the lobster morphing crystal.” Brad said.
“I’m sure you can do it.” Said Sharnu.
“But there must be another way!” Larghhj begged
“Isn’t that what Olcrobrugx wanted? Isn’t that how half his face was blown off?“ Brad coldly intoned.
“That isn’t fair.”K’leop’tk’w growled
“No, it’s not… he was like a father to me.” Brad conceded
“To all of us.” said Vmaelru
“He was one of the first people I trusted here. He rebuilt my shin after the fire-kernal blast.” Alex meekly stammered.
“I can’t believe he was partially to blame for all this.” Larghhj sighed
“I’m not sure what happened in fact the only person that does is Force-Captain Gomez and he his the one being held in Jaws of The Great Magnate of Evil… this truly is his most vile Opus of Cruelty.”Brad confidently intoned.
“Fine you want to stick your neck out for Gomez go ahead, none of us has the strength, willpower, or cunning to stop you so just go ahead and get it over with.”barked K’leop’tk’w
“Remember, If anything goes wrong get Dimitri and Dr. Bartokomous. I don’t want to experience those Meposian nanobots again unless I have to. But If he must use them to save my life I will give my permission.” Brad said.
And with that he clasped the morphing crystal and activated it. Lightning flashed and their was a great whirring of unearthly sounds. Alex and the rest of the alliance members shielded their eyes to prevent the burning of their corneas. They all felt an immense sense of excitement and fear as no one was completely sure how and if the ancient morphing crystals would work. As their vision cleared they saw their answer to all the questions and worries that roamed their thoughts, clearly visible within mist and blue smoke stood a 20ft tall robotic lobster.
“wow, this not unlike something from the power rangers! Clearly no one back home would believe this” Alex stated in an excited but still frightful voice.
Little did he know at that very moment a portal was opening in the small town of Jackson TN and through it in a cloud of tornado technology came the first wave of Poppery III attack bots!