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Entering Madness: The Catacombs of Ramjack – Episode 19
Situation Room | Alexander Green | 8. November, 2009
Lion OR Lying. Willie Ames is back in charge and he’s going to zap your Roth IRA, An IMDB message board dramatic reading. Shows: Tswift on Snl, Parking Wars and more. Spacial reasoning for dummies, and a tasty haze of vicodin and muscle relaxers gently guide us into the situation room…. where nothing will ever be the same. what would you do?
Spookhouse Spectre: The Crypt of Ramjack – Episode 18
Episode 18 is here and it’s legal! Time to rock the vote. We finish our October Halloween extravaganza, receive a special poem, check in on Taylor Swift, discuss Halloween safety for you, your costumes, and your yard haunt… and who doesn’t love an old fashioned yard haunt? We watch Garfield’s Halloween adventure, run into a Situation Room of Horrors & take a scary “ride on the internet” …as opposed to the cyber-web-net-space. Don’t forget to check your scorecard and your base system. Candy, Candy, Candy!
Jack O’ Lantern Rampage: The Laughter of Ramjack – Episode 17
It’s Spooktacular! Taylor Swift: Globe Trotter, Freemdom Stars: make your own! Spiders want to destroy our economy, Hey Kristen Stewart take a bath and shut the fuck up, Rush Limbaugh shutdown, Old people call phone sex line: Viva Viagra indeed, Oregon Trail becomes reality, a reality Karen Armstrong has no grasp of. We deal with our deep childhood fear of aliens and watch Ernest Scared Stupid now with 175% more trolls than your average Troll Movie.
Pretty Pretty Princess and the Unicorn Tea Party: A Ramjack Adventure – Episode 16
The pretty pretty princess has landed… and nothing will ever be the same.
It’s the Ramjack Super Sweet Sixteen so of course we have Miley and Taylor Swift updates, circumcisions, scaring and AIDS: What you need to know. Watch out for evil Alex from the future because he’s out, about, and here to party. Body language experts are one step from being Sylvia Brown, Deal breakers 101. We watch Creepshow and learn more about the great tradition of writers turned old prospectors. Visit an epic Halloween Situation Room and Brad relates the epic stripper roadtrip adventure of 2009. Let the zombies eat cake!
Obsidian Glory: The Spawn of Ramjack – Episode 15
Episode 15 of our world famous chicken-fried-chicken-podcast-steak-chicken-chicken-cast, We get into the Halloween spirit, present a dramatic reading of Charlie Sheen’s Presidential fan-fiction, learn about France’s plan to get us using MS Paint, and watch the Rock’n’Roll Nightmare experience featuring THE Jon Mikl Thor. Reba has a painstone in her heart box for our girl T-Swift. And we do some live missed connections. Episode 15… more fun than fucking the devil!
Ramjack and the Flight of the Doomsday Cannibals – Episode 14
Taylor Swift update, Suprise! TN is a rancid cesspool of racial intolerance and bigotry… you didn’t know? Glen Beck = douchebag, Chris Hansen needs to make a trip to France, Hoarders update, Survivor-It’s still on air? We wake up in the situation room of the future… and are boggled by the three seashells in 1993’s Demolition Man, starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes and Sandra Bullock (in her finest role).
Blood-Shackle Panople The Escape of Ramjack – Episode 13
5&2 drive-through, Science gives Mice hoverboards, HOARDERS: the lastest and greatest sensation of the Nation, CSI+ Spy Kids + Baby Jeezo = Hangman’s Curse featuring a young Leighton Meester… You know, from Gossip Girl? No, not the blonde. The other one. Also Taylor Swift needs our help. We fall down a ventilation shaft into the Situation Room and ask Hayrides… Why?
Boiling Tempest: Ramjack on the High Seas – Episode 12
Movies | Alexander Green | 9. September, 2009
Despite Technical difficulties we bring you an exciting episode 12. Your iPhone tells you when to go to the bathroom, Clowns and Gorillas unite for crime, look-alike sperm for sale, BJ’s for Babies, Peach is the new Pink, Grape is the new Grape, and Bread is the new Trojan. We learn about Toots while Howard the Duck teaches us that Bestiality is ok.
Ramjack: Master of the Unknown – Episode 11
Stay Alert and Check your Score Cards on this very special episode of Ramjack as we slow things down a bit and take it easy. Teenwolf: The Next Generation = van surf or bust. EXTRAORDINARY Chickens! We examine the Campaign shenanigans of ’01 in prep for the county clerks race, Alex makes a visit to J-town, Summer Movies 2009, and we hear the outrage of the public in regards to last episodes situation room debacle.
Don’t forget to grab your very own Official Ramjack Safety Score Card – Wow I feel adequately safe already!
Too Many Robots for Destiny – Chapter 3
FanFiction | Dapper Clubs | 2. September, 2009
Please note: this story is written in the style of Internet fan fiction and should not reflect on it’s author(s) credibility, intelligence, and/or understanding of the English language, syntax, and basic tenants of human communication.
Force Captain Gomez was a powerful leader women wanted to be with him and men wanted to be him. He wore his uniform sweater with an august congeniality that bellied his brilliant tactical skill and ruthless cunning. The fact that he had been kidnapped by such a cruel and vile being as The Great Magnate of Evil was a sullied stain on the sportscoat of superior righteousness. Luckily the past few months had taught Brad and the alliance members many things about circumventing The Great Magnate of Evil’s security.
“Clearly we can detect a build up of non-specified generic ‘energy’… in fact I’m reading a class five!” Larghhj noted.
“If only we could communicate with Force-Captain Gomez.” grieved Sharnu
“Alex, why don’t you use your fax machine?” Brad inquired